Let me get this straight

Let me get this straight.

We're going to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president who also hasn't read it, and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's nearly broke.

What could possibly go wrong?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

KKMommy wrote @ 2:12 PM... ||
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Friday, August 21, 2009

Conversations!

Conversations with the kids about leaving toys everywhere.

Me: ok look what do you think would happen if after I cooked dinner I didn't clean up?
Kids: we'd run out of clean dishes
Me: yes we would but what else would happen?
Kids: it would stink
Me: yes it would and it would look bad.
Kids: but mom our toys don't stink.

they totally missed the point of this conversation.

KKMommy wrote @ 11:29 AM... ||
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Proofreading

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Well, that way you won't be arrested for the crime!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

KKMommy wrote @ 8:36 AM... ||
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Astrological After Sex Comments

Astrological After Sex Comments

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"

Taurus: "I'm hungry -- pass the pizza."

Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"

Cancer: "When are we getting married?"

Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"

Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."

Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."

Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."

Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you."

Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"

Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"

Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?

KKMommy wrote @ 8:25 AM... ||
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Friday, August 7, 2009

Medicine

An English doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'
A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'
An American doctor not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind - we took a man with no brains out of Africa, put him in the White House for a few weeks, and now half the country is looking for work.

KKMommy wrote @ 6:07 PM... ||
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Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Garden Vegetable Bake

Garden Vegetable Bake

1 cup chopped zucchini
1 large tomato chopped
1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese

1/2 cup bisquick
1 cup milk
2 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly grease 8 x 8 square baking dish.
Sprinkle zuchinni, tomatoes and cheese in pan
Stir remaining ingredients until blended. Pour over vegetables and cheese.
Bake uncovered about 35 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

KKMommy wrote @ 4:36 PM... ||
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Saturday, August 1, 2009

Peroxide

Peroxide, who knew??
(safer and healthier than bleach)
This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana (a doctor's wife), and I want to share it with you. She was over recently for coffee and smelled the bleach I was using to clean my toilet and countertops. This is what she told me... I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain little old bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1.00 at any drug store.My husband has been in the medical field for over 36 years, and most doctors don't tell you about peroxide. Have you ever smelled bleach in a doctor's office? No!! Why? Because it smells, and it is not healthy! Ask the nurses who work in the doctor's offices, and ask them if they use bleach at home. They are wiser and know better! Did you also know bleach was invented in the late forties? It's chlorine, folks! It was used to kill our troops in World War II. Peroxide came into popular use during and after WWI. It was used to save and help cleanse the needs of our troops and hospitals. Please think about this.
1. Take one capful and hold in your mouth for ten minutes daily, then spit it out. No more canker sores, and your teeth will be whiter without expensive pastes Use it instead of mouthwash.
2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of peroxide to keep them free of germs. (good one!)
3. Clean your counters and table tops with peroxide to kill germs and leave a fresh smell. Simply put a little on your dishrag when you wipe, or spray it on the counters.
4. After rinsing your wooden cutting board, pour peroxide on it to kill salmonella and other bacteria.
5. I had fungus on my feet for years until I sprayed a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water on them (especially the toes) every night and let dry.
6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five to ten minutes several times a day. My husband has seen gangrene that would not heal with any medicine but was healed by soaking in peroxide.
7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in every bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach or most other disinfectants will.
8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with your 50/50 mixture whenever you have a cold, plugged sinus. It will bubble and help to kill the bacteria. Hold for a few minutes, and then blow your nose into a tissue.
9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a dentist right away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into your mouth and hold it for ten minutes several times a day. The pain will lessen greatly.
10. And of course, if you like a natural look to your hair, spray the 50/50 solution on your wet hair after a shower and comb it through You will not have the peroxide-burnt blonde hair like the hair dye packages but more natural highlights if your hair is a light brown, reddish, or dirty blonde. It also lightens gradually, so it's not a drastic change. (hmmm!)
11. Put half a bottle of peroxide in your bath to help rid boils, fungus, or other skin infections.
12. Add a cup of peroxide instead of bleach to a load of whites in your laundry to whiten them. If there is blood on clothing, pour it directly on the soiled spot. Let it sit for a minute, then rub it and rinse with cold water. Repeat if necessary.
13. I use peroxide to clean my mirrors. There is no smearing, which is why I love it so much for this.
I could go on and on. It is in a dark bottle so it will not be degraded by UV. No home should be without it! With prices of most necessities rising, here's a way to save tons of money in a simple, healthy manner

KKMommy wrote @ 9:50 AM... ||
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How's that CHANGE workin for you

Dear Employees;
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off 18 of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found eighteen 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic
Sincerely,
The Boss

KKMommy wrote @ 9:42 AM... ||
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